iShould Have Told You
by Carl Rahl
Summary: Part of the Stay my baby Challenge. News of Freddie trying to move on is spreading fast. Now Carly Seeks to put that to a stop, get him to realize they are meant for each other.


**A/N: I don't own iCarly; if I did Creddie would be cannon already. Any who…. This Is Part of the Stay My Baby CreddieFans FanFic Contest. As always Read, review and enjoy. **

I Should Have Told You

I walked to my locker, trying to hide the anger in my eyes, the frustration aimed at me. Why did it take me so long to figure it out? All I wanted was to be with someone who was really cool and liked me. The problem was that he was right there in front of my eyes the whole time. God how could I be so stupid? I had what I was looking for and never realized it. Someone who knew the real me and loved me for it, he told me he loved me when we were thirteen, how did he know? I always thought he was a great friend, a sweet person who was nice to me, but we were thirteen. He must have just have had a crush, I thought. I mean come on what does a thirteen year-old know about being in love, it turns out that he was right all along. I had the thing people write epic books and songs about; only to let it slip through my fingers, because I was scared of changing the status quo.

"Carly I love you but its obvious you don't love me the same way, I thought we were going to get together after my cast came off, but that didn't happen I guess you were just infatuated with me because I saved your life. It's cool because I am happy as long as you are in my life. I have to know what it's like to have someone who cares for me the way I care for them. So I'm going to give you what you have wanted for a long time now, I'm going to move on." That was what I told her two weeks ago? I was too shocked to say anything, and I think the fact that I didn't say anything that I just sat there like an idiot, was what hurt him the most. He looked crushed, mad and defeated all at the same time. How could I do that to him? I love him. Now I have watch all these girls throw themselves at him, while he is heartbroken and available. In addition, these girls in this school, oh how did they notice him being available? It was the talk of the school.

"Oh my god, Freddie is like the cutest guy in school now, and he is not waiting for Carly anymore he's free game." Wendy kept telling her friends, reducing Freddie to a prize. Even worst she kept talking like that even after she saw me. He wasn't a prize catch; he wasn't an animal, or something you win. To me he was the person who was always there; the one I went to every time some new jerk I was infatuated with a broke my heart. Why didn't I just give it to Freddie when he asked for it after the cast came off?

"You're fucked up Shay, I'm telling you guys, Freddie was always going to be a catch, and those brainy guys always are." Everyone knows Freddie is brilliant, and that is something I really admired about him, he was smart and has so much ingenuity. Which was part of the reason iCarly is so great. Every crazy idea Sam or I ever had for the show, Freddie was the one who found a way to make it work.

"Yeah well guess what I just heard." Amber decided to chime in. A short girl wow reaped the benefits of developing early. What could she have heard that is going to make them so happy? "Cute, smart, Freddie Benson, is still a virgin."

What! How did that get out? Freddie had only told Sam and me ... Oh god Sam, but she wouldn't. That would cause Freddie to die of embarrassment, oh kidding of course Sam absolutely would. Wait let me not jump to conclusions. I should ask first.

"Hey Amber, where did you hear that from," I ask hoping the answer was someone Freddie works out with.

"Oh Sam told me, She telling everyone." of course she did. "Apparently he was saving himself for you." She says laughing. "But now that he gave up I figure one of us is going to move in and pick up Ridgeway's most eligible. God I have to find Sam.

"Excuse me girls I have to find Sam she has me homework." I tell them. Any reason to get them out of the way, I think I am going to kill Sam. Then I see her at the top of stairs talking to the Dance Squad.

"Hey Carly, what's up?" Sam asked with a cavalier attitude.

"What's up? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU. Freddie told us that in confidence, how could you betray him like that?" I yelled irate with Sam. I know I should keep it down but it's hard to when you're this pissed.

"Relax Shay" says Jenny a leggy brunette, the Captain of the dance squad, who looked like a twenty-three year old cast for the part, and was accompanied by five of her friends, all of whom never seem to take off their short, skimpy red and white uniforms. "He won't be a virgin if any of us get to him."

"Well you see, he says he wants his first time to be love." I say faking the best smile to these girls who are the reason everyone assume the worst of Ridgeway girls.

"You me you, Carly? He is almost eighteen and he was saving it for you. His blue balls must have made him come to his senses. He wanted to be with his lovely little internet star. But don't worry Shay, I'll just relieve his, well let's just call it stress, and after toward I might send him back to you." She says sashaying away. I pivot Sam with complete rage in her eyes.

"What's the problem Carls?" Sam asked me not understanding why I was so mad. I take Sam's arm and drag her outside where there was no one around.

"Sam why did you do that?" My eyes were filling up with tears as I was taking a seat on the bench.

"It's nice that you feel bad for the dork, but don't worry for some reason most of the girls in school want to pop his cherry." Sam says thinking this is bringing me comfort. I don't want any other girls around Freddie I want Freddie.

"You want to know why every girl wants Freddie, its cause he is sweet he will always listen when you talk. He cares about others; he does his best to make you laugh when you're depressed, and because he is easy to talk to." I keep listing off reasons why this the biggest regret of my very short life.

"Oh my god you're in love with Freddie, and he is moving on." Sam says as laughter escapes her.

"Yeah I know I messed up Sam." I confess bringing my hands to face to cover the tears. "He is everything I was asking for. It's like looking for something that has always been right in front of you. And you're not helping getting every girl in school trying to sleep with him." I tell her. I really don't think I have ever been this mad at her. I think she is getting the point. There is enough resentment in my voice that she should notice.

"Well I think it's pretty simple. You want Freddie, and then go get your Freddie." That is easy for her to say. "Or you could let him fall prey to one of the gold digging girls looking to get the new big school catch."

She was right these girls didn't love Freddie. They don't even know Freddie. Just then, I heard him.

"Hey Carly I heard you and Sam were fighting are you alright." Freddie asked sincerely as he took a knee I front of me. He took his right hand and rubbed away the tears with that were falling.

"Hey Fred lumps I'm here to." Sam says for some recognition.

"Yeah you are but you see considering everyone now knows I'm still a virgin I think I am going to be careful what I say around you from now on." He tells her confirming that he is not happy with Sam's latest attempt to ruin his life. I feel him pull me under his arm my head finding the chuck under his neck. "I heard you were trying to defend me, I just want to say thanks. I'm lucky to have a friend like you." He says then I feel kiss on my forehead. Then he just stayed there for a long and blissful minute before we both stood up hand in hand. He was going to walk away and I couldn't let him. I couldn't his hand go.

"Carly are you sure you're okay." He asked.

"Yeah I just need hug from you." I say looking in to his eyes. He just smiled and wrapped his arms around me. He felt so right, and I know I felt something from him. He can't be over me, how do you get over someone you have wanted to be with since before you hit puberty?

"I have to get to my next class." Freddie says letting me go. He is pulling away and heading towards the door. It felt just like that the first time we broke up, I have a feeling of desperation hitting me. I feel like I have to stop him.

"Hey Freddie?"

"Yeah Carls" Freddie turn around to look at me.

"Can we hang out the tonight?" I am hoping he says yes so I let him know tonight, I have to.

"Would love to Carly but I have a date with Wendy." Freddie, he was really was moving on. This can't be happening, No this date won't happen. Tonight I will find a way to make it happen; I am not going to miss the boat on Freddie again.

"Sure well I guess I'll see in class later you're still giving me a ride home right." I ask that maybe thinking I can tell him in the car.

"Sure see you later." Freddie says walking away from her, he was late for class, and my heart is late to beat. I guess your heart beats slower when it's breaking.

"So I guess this means you would like to be alone in the car with him." Sam says with a smile.

"Yeah but I can tell him after we drop you off." I start to feel bad I don't want to make Sam feel like an outsider.

"Don't worry about it Carls, I might as well help out and I can make sure Spencer isn't home, just in case your talk goes very well." This feels like the closes thing I will ever get to Sam giving us her blessing.

"Thank you Sam." I say reaching to hug her with elation.

"Yeah well it's not like you're in the market for girls, and you seem to have your heart set on him, so it really doesn't make much sense to continue cock blocking the dork after all these years." Sam says with a wink and a smile. When she broke the hug, she started to walk to the bus stop.

"Ah Sam where are you going school is this way?" I ask remembering we have three more class left.

"Come on Carls you want this to happen or not. It's a pain in the ass to get to your place and talk Spencer in to not being there, so I'm just getting a head start." She has no idea how much I appreciate this. I might as well use the rest of this free period to figure out what to say to him.

The next sixty minutes flew by and I got nothing. Other than, to tell him I want to be more than just his best friend. I want to tell him, how stupid I feel for letting it get to this point, but most of all I want to tell him that I love him. I love him for whom he is, I love him more than anyone could, and I will love better than anyone can. This is all I can come up with, as I make my way to media arts lab. I get through the door to see him sitting there, suffocating by a flock of girls, with Wendy front and center. I try to get to Freddie and put up a fight, I don't care if I have to channel Sam to do it.

"Hey Freddie, were still driving home right." God that was a stupid question.

"Yeah always Carls, but I hope you don't mind we drop off Wendy along the way." He says as Wendy sat at the desk next to him and moved the chair as close to Freddie as possible. I can believe she is working so hard to get Freddie. I understand why, but I am not going to let it happen, but I can't say no let her walk. I want to, but that would be mean.

"Yeah sure Freddie." I tell him, Then I see Ms. Briggs come in I look for a desk near Freddie, but there all filled by vultures. Now I regulated to sit in the back and watch all these girls pass him notes. Ask for his help quote unquote, they all try to make sure Freddie looks down there blouse as he's helping, all trying to show the clear difference between them and I. I was beyond happy when the final bell rang.

"Ready to go Carls?" I hear him ask as he makes his way to me Wendy latched to his arm like a leach.

"Yea, sure," I say staring a whole right at Wendy. She hung on Freddie's arm the whole walk to the car. She should have gotten the hint when she reached to hold his hand and he put it in his pocket instead, I almost laughed out load. This could almost be a bit for the show I wish I had a camera. We could call it How to tell a girl is trying too hard. The whole ride back, could have provided us with weeks of footage.

"So Freddie I thought we could just stay in my place, my parents are away and I can cook dinner." Wendy attempts are starting to make my stomach turn, but what Freddie says next surprised me.

"You know Wendy I don't think this date is going to work out for me tonight. Maybe we are going to have to take a rain check on that date, Kay." Freddie is turning down Wendy.

"Are you sure?" She sounded sincerely let down.

"Yeah very sure, you have good night." He says pulling up to her house; he gets out of the car and opens the door to let her out. He gave her a quick peck on the cheek, before she made to her door.

"Come on up in front Carls." He tells me holding the door open. We seem to be thirty minutes away from home. It's now or never, as I sit down, he starts to close the door and come around. I can feel my heart about to jump out though my mouth. This is so hard how he did it so many times. Is this even what he felt?

"Hey Carly what's wrong, you look like you are going to throw up." I have always been an open book to him, but now I have to be honest. I guess I should start slow. He is pulling away.

"Don't worry Carly we'll be home soon." I can hear he is concern in his voice.

"I'm ok Freddie, I just a little nervous, because I have something to talk to you about." I say looking for a reaction, but they only look I see on his face is confusion.

"Should I pull over?" He asks, it might be a good idea I don't know where this conversation will go either way I don't think we should have it on the road.

"I think so; there is a park over to the right." I tell him, he looks a bit weirder I don't blame him.

"Is everything okay Carly."

"Yeah I hope so." I try to reassure him. He pulls over to an open spot in an empty lot. There seems to be no one for miles. Maybe this is fate working with me. I guess we could do this outside, so I open the door and jester to him to join me. As we get out, Freddie sits on the hood of his custom red Camaro with black stripes down the middle and sides of the car. I don't know what kind of engine it has but Freddie says it was fast enough to make a face look like you are standing like it was in front of a fan.

"What's wrong?" he asks with so much sincerity in his eyes. I have to take a deep breath before I go on.

"Freddie I have to say this, so please don't interrupt, okay?" I look in to his eyes, as he nods in agreement. "Freddie I... I am so sorry, I am sorry for so much, what you said to me that night was right." His head turns, And I know he knows what I am talking but I don't know what he is feeling about it right now. Am I hurting him again? I don't want to hurt him anymore, but I have to get this out.

"I realized now, It must have looked to everyone that I was taking advantage of you, and I regret that so much, cause I owe you for a lot of what I have." My eyes start to water up, and I can see Freddie get up. I step back and ask him to stop and motion for him to sit back down. "You helped me come up with iCarly and it wouldn't have happened without you. You did all that, not just, because you're a good person, but you did that because you genuinely care about me. If there was something, I wanted to do and there you were, ready to make my dreams happen because you honestly did love me and wanted to see me happy. No matter if you say you're trying to move on I don't believe it."

At this point, I start to move towards him, I feel like I have to at least touch him, at least hold his hand, and get him to look at me even with tears in his eyes. "I know you still love me and I didn't understand then, how could I tell you? Then over time, I figured it out. Which brings me to the other thing I am sorry about? I am sorry I haven't told you that I love you too, I have for a while." At that he turns, finally looking at me. His dark brown eyes are drowning in his tears, it's so hard to finish this, but I have to.

"I didn't know how to act on it with you. You aren't just some other person. You're the one I run to when everything goes wrong and I didn't know what would happen if this went wrong. Who would I have to run to? Then you said you wanted to move on. You said that was what I wanted. Freddie I didn't what you to move on, I just wanted you and didn't know how to say it. I want you, I love you, and I'm sorry it took this for me to grow up and tell you. So there, there it is. I want to be your girlfriend, so please don't move on, please be with me." There it is I have bearded my soul, all I have. What will he say?

"God Carly I don't know if I want to kiss you or throw myself in the lake." Okay maybe I disserve that; I wouldn't know how to feel either he has a reason to have tears fall down his face. "I have been in love with you for along time. And went to you and I was begging you to not let me go and you just sat there, and now that I have girls like Wendy throwing themselves at me you tell me all of this. Where has this been for the 2 years after my cast came off? What it took me trying not to love you anymore for you to tell me this."

"Your right Freddie it's my fault I should have grown up sooner, but I...." before I could continue you I felt his lips on mine stopping me from talking. As soon as it happened is as soon as he stopped, throwing himself back, I could see the anger and confusion etched on his face.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" He asks screaming into the sky, trying to move away from me, but I won't let him. I wrap my arms around his body. This whole conversation hurts to have, but I will make sure we heal when we are together.

"You really want to know what's wrong with you, you still move me." I tell him hoping it's true.

"Bullshit Carly!" He's not even struggling anymore if he really wants to, he could pull me off him with ease.

"You just said you, are trying to get over me, not that you did. If you were over me you would have said you loved me." I try to reason. It's a load of crap, but hey, I'm desperate here.

"Carly, you know what I was trying to say. I can't love you anymore. This is just the bacon thing all over again."

"That whole bacon thing was Sam thinking she was helping, she was wrong. I wanted to be with you, and still do. All that did back then was wake me up to what I should have realized a long time ago. I want to be your girlfriend, I want to be your first time, and I want you to be mine. Freddie I am sorry that it took so long for this, but I know now it should be me and you." I can feel him sit back on his car. I move my arms up to be around his neck, as I buried me head in to his chest. I am not going to let him go I am fighting for him. I think he is starting to get in it, I can feel his arms around me.

"I want this to be true." After five years, I don't blame him if he questions it.

"I love you, please let's go home." I tell him. I turn up to look at his face and he does the same. I see a smile on his face.

"Okay" He says taking my face in his hands and placing his lips on mine. "Let's do this. I guess I can't escape, if I still love you, and I was just tired of being hurt, by the girl I want to love me back."

"I will never hurt you again, never again."


End file.
